Updated: Jul 27, 2020
Natural Talents, Ideas and Fear. (Exploration)
Sometimes, a lot of the time if I'm honest, I ask myself: Why am I writing?
And how far do I want to take this pursuit? Am I good enough to make it?
The truth is I don't know. And that is scary. I don't know what good enough is, or what standards I must meet to call myself 'the real thing.' I accept nothing under perfect.
And that to me is fear, because what if i'm not good enough?
What if I fail?
What if my ideas are rejected? I don't know, but I don't like that idea.
“But worse then failure is the idea of not trying. Potential wasted and not pursued, subdued by fear, giving up without trying ... this seems worse then a loss, or failure, or fear..”
But worse then failure is the idea of not trying. Potential wasted and not pursued, subdued by fear, giving up without trying ... this seems worse then a loss, or failure, or fear. I like my work, I like my writing because what I say is honest and true. Its the only skill I've ever had naturally, and I don't know why I waited so long to pursue it.
Either way I am here now and my ideas are plenty. My self-discipline is to grind everyday. Everyday I write at least an idea, an essay, a page, other days entire books spill from ideas. And who knows what that is--a flow state--from ideas, books and stories that write themselves.
How damn cool and how damn lucky am I, to be the person able to pass the idea on. Its a privilege, a pursuit I like, something I must do. And those who are naturally skilled and work harder then another can never be subdued.